As the Revolver Photo Director and proud owner of a vagina, I feel more than qualified to offer up honest, raw, and unadulterated advice regarding all things related to sex, the female body, and relationships. So, all you metalhead freaks out there, please email me your most dire, dirty, sick, and twisted questions about women and the way we work, from our emotional hearts to our even more complicated parts. Girls are also welcome to fire off some questions; I’m sure the guys reading my blog would love to hear what’s on your mind as well. Email me at RevolvHer@gmail.com.
Dear RevolvHer,
It’s summertime and I am gearing up for some days at the beach. I am curious about pubic-hair grooming. Basically, my boyfriend is constantly urging me to go completely bare. The furthest I have gone with my hair “down there” is the typical landing strip. I am wondering if I should use the beachwear excuse as reason to give my boyfriend the gift of a Brazilian waxing/shaving thing? Is it dangerous? Will it hurt? Do I wax or shave? Is doing this kind of thing for a man totally anti-feminist? What are your thoughts on this matter? I have never had a guy care what was going on down there before, and part of me is annoyed that he cares. Like, why does he want me to look like a little girl?
Thanks,
Curious
Dear Curious,
This is a pretty timely question, with bathing-suit season upon us, and a question that I too have grappled with from time to time over the years. The first time that I went full-on bare “down there,” I did it to impress a guy I was about to disrobe in front of during our first overnight sex romp. At the time, I was working at a fancy magazine with the kind of girls that did things like get Brazilian waxes for their investment-banker boyfriends. One of these girls insisted that I go with her to the infamous Brazilian J Sisters Salon on 57th street in order to get my sacred earth scorched properly. It hurt like hell and was totally awkward (legs over head, butt cheeks spread open awkwardly). Being that my father is a gynecologist who has put the fear of god into me about my vagina, I entered into the situation with lot of hangups about whether or it this was a sanitary venture. What I learned is that good places will use clean, high-end wax to avoid spreading bacteria, so I ended up being just fine. I didn’t enjoy having my pubic hairs yanked out by the Brazilian chick, but the aftermath was an incredible new feeling that I recommend trying at least once. It was amazing to not have the hair barrier between my flesh and whatever was touching my area, e.g. my boyfriend, myself, or whatever small, vibrating device I happened to stumble upon. I realized at that moment that while I had gotten my hair removed to please my boyfriend, I ended up reaping more of the benefits. I have since played around with various pubic-hair styles and lengths, sometimes shaving, sometimes waxing, sometimes growing it out for a change, and sometimes just trimming it a bit. I definitely would never date a man who made it a requirement that I be hairless for his sexual pleasure. I think it’s a major red flag when men have a pubic-hair hangup. If a man requires his girl to be shaven or waxed completely in order to have sex with her, he either has some kind of issue with fucking a real woman, or he has seen one too many porno flicks. That is just my own personal view on the matter. Whenever I start a new sexual relationship with a man, if he is into a real woman, with pubic hair, that is usually a sign that the sex will be off the hook. I can then do what I like with my body to further my own pleasure and to make it more erotic for myself, or as a special treat.
Now, for some clinical words of caution about shaving and waxing, if you decide to go forward in your beachware and boyfriend-pleasing venture. Sometimes razor burn or ingrown hairs can occur. Be sure to visit an upscale salon or spa for a wax job; do not skimp when it comes to letting someone pour hot wax on your girl parts and tear out your pubes. The good places will also remove your ingrown hairs surgically, which rules. Also, make sure to buy whatever post-wax product the spa recommends; they are not trying to steal your money, I promise. I personally stand by these ingrown-hair-eliminating pads from Bliss. Bliss is also a spa I highly recommend for a good Brazilian wax—and they are all over the place. If you opt for shaving, exfoliate first, use a fresh, clean, good razor each time, and go with the grain on the first pass, and then against the grain on the second pass. Apply a good lotion afterwards to soothe the skin. Aveeno lotion is pretty awesome.
My favorite girly blog site, Jezebel, did a great debate on the pros and cons of various methods of pubic-hair maintenance, so for more info on the matter, I suggest some further reading on the topic here.
Good luck, lady, and remember, whatever you choose to do, it’s just hair…so have fun with it, it’ll grow back.
xxx
RevolvHer
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